3 Kids With A Bright Future Plus 1

Plus little Larry’s ambitions for when he grows up

A teacher asks the kids in her 5th grade class: “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Little Larry says: “I wanna start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest whore, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while… banging her like a loose screen door in a hurricane.”

The teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Larry, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply continue with the lesson.

“And how about you, Sarah?”

“I wanna be Larry’s whore”

Then we’ve got some observations from kids on the ocean

The next time you take an oceanography course, you will be totally prepared!

1) – This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. – (Kelly, age 6 )

2 ) – Oysters’ balls are called pearls. – (Jerry, age 6)

3) – If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don’t have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. – (Mike, age 7)

4) – Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She’s not my friend any more. – (Kylie, age 6)

5) – A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. – (Billy, age 8)

6) – My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and comes back with crabs. – (Millie, age 6)

7) – When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn’t blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. – (William, age 7)

8) – Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? – (Helen, age 6)

9) – I’m not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can’t think what to write. – (Amy, age 6)

10) – Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves in to chargers. – (Christopher, age 7)

11) – When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. – (Peter, age 6)

12) – Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can’t go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. – (Becky, age 8)

13) – On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won’t do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass. – (Julie, age 7)

14) – The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don’t drown I don’t know. – (Bobby, age 6)

15) – My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn’t know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. – (James, age 7)

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