Plus the story of a policeman & a rectum stretcher

A Winchester woman driving along at speed passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk & asked, ‘What’s your hurry?’

She replied, ‘I’m late for work.’

‘Oh yeah,’ said the cop, ‘what do you do?’

‘I’m a Rectum Stretcher,’ she responded.

The cop stammered, ‘A what?…………

‘A Rectum Stretcher!’

‘And just what does a rectum stretcher do?’

‘Well,’ she said, ‘I start by inserting one finger in the rectum, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it’s about 6 feet’

‘And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot arsehole?’ he asked

‘You give him a radar gun & park him behind a bridge..

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