A parody of the famous hit song by Freddie Mercury & Queen. Same tune, but the lyrics have been changed to Bohemian Rhapsody gospel style.
Plus a change of religion with 3 jokes about Nuns
TWO NUNS WERE SHOPPING AT A 7-11 STORE. AS THEY PASSED BY THE BEER COOLER, ONE NUN SAID TO THE OTHER, ” WOULDN’T A NICE COOL BEER OR TWO TASTE WONDERFUL ON A HOT SUMMER EVENING?
THE SECOND NUN ANSWERED, “INDEED IT WOULD, SISTER, BUT I WOULD NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE BUYING BEER, SINCE I AM CERTAIN IT WOULD CAUSE A SCENE AT THE CHECKOUT STAND.”
“I CAN HANDLE THAT WITHOUT A PROBLEM” THE OTHER NUN REPLIED, AND SHE PICKED UP A SIX-PACK AND HEADED FOR THE CHECK-OUT.
THE CASHIER HAD A SURPRISED LOOK ON HIS FACE WHEN THE TWO NUNS ARRIVED WITH A SIX-PACK OF BEER. “WE USE BEER FOR WASHING OUR HAIR” THE NUN SAID, “BACK AT OUR NUNNERY, WE CALL IT CATHOLIC SHAMPOO”.
WITHOUT BLINKING AN EYE, THE CASHIER REACHED UNDER THE COUNTER. PULLED OUT A PACKAGE OF PRETZEL STICKS, AND PLACED THEM IN THE BAG WITH THE BEER.
HE THEN LOOKED THE NUN STRAIGHT IN THE EYE, SMILED, AND SAID:
“THE CURLERS ARE ON THE HOUSE.”
The 98 year old Mother Superior was dying.
The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable.
One of the nuns took a glass of warm milk and remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she poured a generous amount into the warm milk.
Back at Mother Superior’s bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother drank a little, and before they knew it, she had finished the whole glass. “Mother,” the nuns asked earnestly , “please give us some wisdom before you die.”
Mother raised herself up in bed and with a pious look on her face and said, “Don’t sell that cow.”
There were two nuns…
One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),
and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).
It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.
SL: It’s logical. He wants to rape us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.
SM: It’s not working.
SL: Of course it’s not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I’ll go this way.
He cannot follow us both.
So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.
Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.
Then Sister Logical arrives.
SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!
SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn’t follow us both, so he followed me
SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?
SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.
SM: And?
SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me
SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.
SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.
SM: Oh, no! What happened then?
SL: Isn’t it logical, Sister?
A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down.
Happy ending all round, except for the guy with his pants down.
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