Girls & Pubs - Women & Beer - Gin & Tonic

Meanwhile a political duo visited a pub out west

Anthony Albanese called Richard Marles into his office recently and said, ‘Richard, I have a great idea. We are going to go all out and talk to country voters, we need their votes to win the next election.’

‘Good idea Albo. How will we go about it ?’ asked Richard.

‘Well,’ said Albo, ’We’ll get ourselves one of those Driza-Bone coats, some RM Williams boots, a stick and an Akubra hat. Oh, and a blue cattle dog. Then we’ll really look the part. We’ll go to a typical old outback country pub and we’ll show that we really enjoy the bush.’

‘Right.’ said Richard.

Days later, all kitted out and with the requisite blue heeler, they set off from Canberra in a westerly direction.

Eventually they arrived at just the place they were looking for and found a typical outback pub. They walked in with the dog and up to the bar.

’G’day mate,’ said Albo to the bartender. ‘Two middies of your best beer.’

‘Good afternoon,’ said the bartender. ‘Two middies of our best coming up.’

Albanese and Marles stood leaning on the bar, drinking their beer, chatting and nodding now and again to whoever came into the bar for a drink. The dog lay quietly at their feet.

All of a sudden, the door from the adjacent bar opened and in came a grizzled old stockman, complete with stockwhip.

He walked up to the cattle dog, lifted its tail with the whip and looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked back to the other bar.

A few moments later, in came another old stockman with his whip. He walked up to the dog and lifted its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and went back to the other bar.

Over the course of the next hour or so, another four or five stockmen came in, lifted the dog’s tail and went away looking puzzled.

Eventually, Albanese and Marles could stand it no longer and called the barman over.

‘Tell me,’ said Albanese, ‘why did all those old stockmen come in and look under the dog’s tail like that?

Is it an old outback custom?’

‘Strewth no,’ said the barman. ‘Someone told ’em there was a cattle dog in the bar with two arseholes.’

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