Plus actual newspaper headlines that need rewrite

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter

This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this.   It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day. 

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Really? Did we need an expert to work that out?

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

That should teach them a lesson they won’t forget!

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

What a guy!  Some vets just get right into their work.

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

No-good-for-nothing’ lazy so-and-so’s! They must be UNION members!

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

That should work better than a fair trial and cheaper too!

War Dims Hope for Peace

I can see where it might have that effect!

If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

Obviously an experienced negotiator.

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures 

Who would have thought that?  Maybe a climate change expert.

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

They may be on to something, but needs more investigation!

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

Do you mean there’s something stronger than duct tape?

Man Struck By Lightning:  Faces Assault & Battery Charge

He probably IS the battery charge!

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Weren’t they fat enough? A case of bigger would be better.

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

That’s what he gets for eating those beans!

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

I guess they need cooking first.  Do they taste like chicken?

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Chainsaw Massacre all over again! Messy, but hey, if it works.

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Boy, are they tall!

And the winner is….

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Did I read that right?  May they rest in peace this time.

Now that you’ve smiled at least once, it’s your turn to spread the stupidityand send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle).      We all need a good laugh, at least once a day!


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