His wife was asleep when Paddy staggered home
He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to the upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the second step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump, breaking a whiskey bottle in his back pocket and making the landing especially painful.
Managing not to yell, Paddy sprang up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a box of Band-Aids and began, as best he could, to put a Band-Aid on each place he saw blood. He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.
In the morning, he woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and saw Kathleen staring at him from across the room. She said, ‘You were drunk again last night weren’t you?’
Paddy said, ‘Why would you say such a mean thing?’
‘Well,’ Kathleen said, ‘it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailed through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly, it’s all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.’
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