3 short clips about Senior Citizens, first the lingerie, then a marriage proposal & finally a look at the goings on at the Horny Hospice nursing home.

But wait, speaking of Senior Citizens, there’s more

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic rubbish bags behind her.

One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the pavement.

Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, “Ma’am, there are $20 notes falling out of that bag.”

“Oh, really? Darn it!” said the little old lady. “I’d better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.

“Well, now, not so fast,” said the cop.“ Where did you get all that money? You didn’t steal it, did you?”

“Oh, no, no”, said the old lady. “You see, my back yard is right next to a Golf course.  A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower Garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know.

Then I thought, ‘why not make the best of it?

So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers.

Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, ‘O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes.’

“Well, that seems only fair,” said the cop, laughing. “OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what’s in the other bag?”

“Not everyone pays..

Plus the story of 89 year old Russ who ended up in court

Russ and Sam, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.

One day Russ didn’t show up. Sam didn’t think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something. But after Russ hadn’t shown up for a week or so, Sam really got worried.

However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Sam didn’t know where Russ lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.

A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Russ, but one day, Sam approached the park and– lo and behold! — there sat Russ!

Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so.

Then he said, ‘For crying out loud Russ, what in the world happened to you?’

Russ replied, ‘I have been in jail.’

‘Jail!’ cried Sam. ‘What in the world for?’

‘Well,’ Russ said, ‘you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the  coffee shop where I sometimes go?’

‘Yeah,’ said Sam, ‘I remember her. What about her?’

‘Well, the little gold-digging witch figured I was rich and she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pleaded ‘guilty’.

“So what happened” Sam asked”.

>

Russ looked sad and said ‘The judge gave me 30 days for perjury.’


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