Speaking of hell, death can cause funny moments

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

‘In honor of this holy season’ Saint Peter said, ‘You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.’

The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. ‘It’s a candle’, he said.

‘You may pass through the pearly gates’ Saint Peter said.

The Scotsman reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, ‘They’re bells.’

Saint Peter said ‘You may pass through the pearly gates’.

The Irishman started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women’s panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, ‘And just what do those symbolize?’

The paddy replied, ‘These are Carols.’

Plus the story of Anna and the death of her husband

Anna  had lost her husband almost four years ago.

Her daughter was  constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the world. Finally,  Anna said she’d go out, but didn’t know anyone.

Her daughter  immediately replied, “Mom I have someone for you to meet.”

Well,  it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating for six  weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend in Vermont ..

Their  first night there, she undressed as he did.
There she stood nude,  except for a pair of black lacy panties; he was in his birthday suit.

Looking her over, he asked, “Why the black panties?”

She  replied: “My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down  there I am still mourning.”

He knew he was not getting lucky that  night.

The following night was the same–she stood there wearing the  black panties, and he was in his birthday suit–but now he was wearing a  black condom ..

She looked at him and asked: “What’s with the  black condom?”

He replied, “I want to offer my deepest  Condolences”

And the story of a woman saved from death by crocodile

Nerves of Steel Woman stops 12 ft. croc with .22 pistol.

 A Darwin woman, Beverly Thompson, 38, has stopped a  crocodile attack using a small .22 calibre Ruger pistol.

This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator.

 Here’s her story in her own words: “While walking along the edge of a lake near my house in the Villages Estate near Darwin discussing a property settlement with my soon-to-be ex-husband, and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge 12-ft crocodile which suddenly emerged from the murky water.

 “It began charging us with its large jaws wide open. She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely aggressive.

 “If I had not had my little Ruger 22 calibre pistol with me, I wouldn’t be here today!” said Beverly. “Just one shot to my estranged husband’s knee cap was all it took.

 “The croc got him easily, and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace. The amount I saved in lawyer’s fees was really incredible – and his life insurance was also a big bonus!.  It makes a good case for permits to carry licensed firearms in the Territory.”

Your Pleasure is Our Business. Our goal is to relieve your stress, enhance your pleasure, take you to a new level of ecstasy and leave you dripping with joy.Love Honey Sale Specials

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