Accidents, near misses & close calls happen daily. Some are catastrophic, others have serious consequences & sometimes it’s just your lucky day.

But the Darwin award winners are not lucky at all

2022 DARWIN AWARD WINNERS

Honouring Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool – by removing themselves from it in the most spectacular way possible. The awards are given out every year; these are the latest:

Nominee No. 1: [San Jose Mercury News]:

An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriend’s windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.

Nominee No. 2: [Kalamazoo Gazette]:

James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo, MI, was killed in March as he was trying to repair what police describe as a “farm-type truck.” Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Burns’s clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns “wrapped in the drive shaft.”

Nominee No. 3: [Hickory Daily Record]:

Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton, NC. Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson 38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.

Nominee No. 4: [UPI, Toronto]:

Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the building’s windows to visiting law students.

Hoy previously had conducted demonstrations of window strength according to police reports. Peter Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was “one of the best and brightest” members of the 200-man association. A person has to wonder what the dimmer members of this law firm are like.

Nominee No. 5: [The News of the Weird]:

Michael Anderson Godwin had spent several years awaiting South Carolina’s electric chair on a murder conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison. While sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.

Nominee No. 6: [The Indianapolis Star]:

A Dunkirk, IN man, using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzleloader, was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his face, sheriff’s investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents’ rural Dunkirk home at about 11:30 PM. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a .54 caliber muzzle-loader that had not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.

Nominee No. 7: [Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario]:

A man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment in this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 storeys to his death. “Stefan Macko, 55, was standing on a wheelchair when the accident occurred,” said Inspector Darcy Honer of the Peel Regional Police. “It appears that the chair moved, and he went over the balcony,” Honer said.

Nominee No. 8: [Arkansas Democrat Gazette]:

Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday.

Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock, were returning to Des Arc after a frog-catching trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole’s pickup truck headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older model truck had burned out.

As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the .22 calibre bullets from his pistol fitted perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet the headlights again began to operate properly, and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River Bridge.

After traveling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exited the pavement, and struck a tree.

Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident but will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his testicles, which will never operate as intended. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released. “Thank God we weren’t on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off, or we might be dead,” stated Wallis.

“I’ve been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I can’t believe that those two would admit how this accident happened,” said Snyder.

Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia Poole (Poole’s wife) asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck?


Your Pleasure is Our Business. Our goal is to relieve your stress, enhance your pleasure, take you to a new level of ecstasy and leave you dripping with joy.Love Honey Sale Specials
Add your email address to have posts delivered direct to your inbox

 


You may also like

Boating Mishaps Can Ruin Your Day
But these female boat lovers could make your day
You Think You're Having A Bad Day
Plus a few lessons in psychology that might help
A Series Of Mishaps & Misjudgements  
Plus some advice on how to avoid road accidents
A Series Of Mishaps And Bad Luck
Plus 30 memes of things that just didn't go to plan
A Villain And Heroes From The Past
Plus 32 signs with witty thoughts and insights
Women Can - Men Need More Training
Plus 30 images of men who have loading training
What Could Go Wrong With A Toilet
Plus the story of a woman & a wooden toilet seat
Various Ways To Down A Few Beers
Plus an ethical dilemma, is beer the way to go?
Alert - It Ain't Over Till It's Over
Plus a similar story from a cop & some other stuff
Big Waves Fun For Some Others Not
Plus 3 short stories, good for some, but others no
Sometimes It Just Doesn't End Well
Plus 30 funny memes which didn't turn out well
Aussie Hunter In USA & Irish Vs USA
Plus 45 caricatures of some well known Americans
Bad Luck Can Ruin The Whole Day
More bad luck if your stuff is in these containers
Lady Luck Saves Many From Tragedy
Plus a Lady Luck story that really tops them all
Danger Is Lurking On Our Roads
Plus a few accidents looking for a place to happen
Page 1 of 3
Categories:

0 Comments

Leave a Reply

Avatar placeholder

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *