Plus a stand up hard worker asking for a pay rise
Dear Employer
I, P Enis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor in all sorts of sometimes difficult positions.
I am expected remain erect whilst explore exploring unknown cavities.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off, but often do even more work at these times .
I work in a damp environment.
My work workplace is dark and has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,
*P. Enis*
👄👄👄👄👄👄
*The Response*👇
Dear Mr. P Enis:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You often fall asleep after brief work periods of work.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team. You do not always stay in your designated area and you are often seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative – you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave your workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don’t always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
Your ability to perform to expectations is declining as you get older.
You are unable to work double shifts when required.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,
*V. A. Gina*
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