A blast from the past with Benny Hill and The Two Ronnies with British humour the way it used to be, plus some magic sunglasses & a few jokes.

Plus more British humour to keep you amused

These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.

8 years old, 

Hateful little bastard.

Bites!

FREE PUPPIES

1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor’s dog.

FREE PUPPIES.

Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.

Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

COWS: NEVER BRED.

Also 1 gay bull for sale.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!

Must sell washer and dryer £100.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .

Worn once by mistake.

Call Stephanie.

**** And the WINNER is… ****

FOR SALE BY OWNER.

Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.

Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.

Statement of the Century

Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker–Billy Connolly. “If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can’t have a headache and sex at the same time?”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Children Are Quick

____________________________________

TEACHER: Why are you late?

STUDENT: Class started before I got here.

____________________________________

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

__________________________________________

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’

GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L’

TEACHER: No, that’s wrong GLENN:

Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

(I Love this child)

____________________________________________

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.

__________________________________

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.

WINNIE: Me!

__________________________________________

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.

_______________________________________

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it.

Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand…..

______________________________________

TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mum is a good cook.

______________________________

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s.

Did you copy his?

CLYDE : No, sir. It’s the same dog.

(I want to adopt this kid!!!)

___________________________________

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher.

__________________________________

PASS IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH

Due to current covid conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been temporarily turned off.


Your Pleasure is Our Business. Our goal is to relieve your stress, enhance your pleasure, take you to a new level of ecstasy and leave you dripping with joy.Love Honey Sale Specials

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