“When I’m 64” was released by The Beatles in 1967 & this parody has a few word changes, but it’s still relevant to reaching or passing that milestone.
Plus 3 funny stories on the life of senior citizens
Sometimes we Seniors fail to completely understand directions. Now this could be due to mental regression or because we just don’t hear what the speaker is saying. Here is a classical example of the latter. I recently went to my nearby Pharmacy, then straight to the back, where the Pharmacists’ high counter is located.
I took out my little brown bottle, along with a teaspoon, and set them up on the counter. The Pharmacist came over, smiled, and asked if he could help me. I said, “Yes, could you please taste this for me?
Seeing a senior citizen, the Pharmacist went along. He took the spoon, put a tiny bit of the liquid on it, put it on his tongue and swilled it around. Then, with a stomach-churning look on his face, he spat it out on the floor and began coughing. When he was finally finished, I looked him right in the eye and asked, “Now, did that taste sweet to you?”
The Pharmacist, shaking his head back and forth with a venomous look in his eyes yelled, “HELL NO.”
I said, “Oh, thank God. That’s a real relief. My doctor told me to have a Pharmacist test my urine for sugar.”
I am not allowed back into that Pharmacy, but I really don’t care, because they aren’t very friendly there anymore.
And then another senior comes home from the Doctor
Sidney goes to Doctor Myers for a check-up and returns home with a thermometer.
His wife Miriam asks him, “So what’s with the thermometer, darling?”
“Doctor Myers says I must put it in my rectum, but I don’t know what he means,” he replies.
“Well I don’t know either,” says Miriam, “so call him and ask.”
“Isn’t it a bit late to call the doctor?” asks Sidney.
“But you’ve no choice,” says Miriam.
So Sidney calls the doctor. When he puts the phone down, Miriam asks, “So what did he say?”
“The doctor told me to put it in my anus,” replies Sidney.
They are now both in the dark as to what an anus is.
“So call him again,” says Miriam.
“But it’s very late already,” says Sidney, “I’m sure he’s going to be mad.”
“Maybe, but please call him and ask him,” insists Miriam.
So very reluctantly Sidney calls Doctor Myers yet again and after a very brief conversation puts down the phone.
“So what did he say this time?” asks Miriam.
“See, I told you he’d be grumpy,” replies Sidney, “he shouted at me and told me to shove it up my ass.”
And Senior citizens are constantly being criticized for every conceivable deficiency of the modern world, real or imaginary.
We know we take responsibility for all we have done and do not try to blame others.
HOWEVER, upon reflection, we would like to point out that it was NOT senior citizens who took:
The melody out of music,
The pride out of appearance,
The courtesy out of driving,
The romance out of love,
The commitment out of marriage,
The responsibility out of parenthood,
The togetherness out of the family,
The learning out of education
The Golden Rule from rulers,
The nativity scene out of cities,
The civility out of behaviour,
The refinement out of language,
The dedication out of employment,
The prudence out of spending,
The ambition out of achievement.
And we certainly are NOT the ones who eliminated patience and tolerance from personal relationships and interactions with others!
And, we DO understand the meaning of patriotism, and remember those who have fought and died for our country.
YES, I’M A SENIOR CITIZEN!
I’m the life of the party…..Even if it lasts until 8 p.m.
I’m very good at opening childproof caps…..
With a hammer.
I’m awake many hours before
my body allows me to get up.
I’m smiling all the time,
because I can’t hear a thing you’re saying.
I’m sure everything I can’t find is
in a safe secure place, somewhere.
I’m wrinkled, saggy, lumpy,
and that’s just my left leg.
I’m beginning to realize that aging is not for wimps.
Yes, I’m a SENIOR CITIZEN and I think I am having the time of my life! Now if I could only remember who sent this to me, I wouldn’t send it back to them.
Or, maybe I should send it to all my friends anyway.
They won’t remember, even if they did send it.
Spread the laughter and share the cheer
Let’s be happy, while we’re still here.
Add your email address to have posts delivered direct to your inbox
0 Comments